It’s another turn of the wheel, as they say. 2015 was better than I thought it would be.  The rear view is handy like that. I’ve never actually written my goals/resolutions/whatever down.  It’s too permanent for me and I apparently have issues committing to myself. That’s something I’d like to change. So let’s see what all the fuss is about and start working on goal #1 straight out of the gate:

1. Treat myself better. This falls under the “put your own oxygen mask on before helping others” category. I am lousy at taking care of myself and since I’ve gotten better at this past couple of months, I’ve noticed a significant change in how I relate to my environment and my family. I’m assuming this can only get better. And so I start on this one by writing these down and committing to them so maybe I won’t flake out as quickly on them this time.
2. Be a kinder person. I’m hoping that will just be a side product of taking better care of myself, but I have noticed I can be a real b*tch sometimes. This is usually what makes me the girl you want to sit next to at any social function, but I am neither a girl anymore nor frequenting anything exciting enough to warrant A-level judgment passing, so it’s time to woman up and tone it down.
3. Spend more time with my family. Now that I’ll be this new healthy, kind, woman-person, I can be fully present in their lives again. Miss O has never really known me to have enough energy to keep up with her, so I’d like to show her that I can be just as fun as Daddy. I’d also like to be able to give Hubs a well-deserved break. This also means letting the dishes sit on the counter a bit longer, which is hard for me, but I want Miss O to have memories that don’t involve me standing by the sink or the stove.
4. Exercise. This should be a no-brainer and is on EVERYONE’s list, I know, but for me it’s significant. I haven’t been without pain or fatigue in so long and I haven’t really been able to exercise in a meaningful way since before Miss O was born. I’ve been sans gluten for two months and I can feel myself craving the stretching and movement. This year I owe it to myself to test my health and return exercise to my daily routine and treat myself better. (See #1)
5. Face my demons. This will be the biggest beast of all. I have a lot going on in the dark parts of my heart and now that the gluten fog is lifted, I can feel it trying to get out again. I haven’t dealt with a lot because I’ve always been worried about other people, for other people and because of other people. That stops this year. There will be posts about it, I’m sure, because that’s how I get it out. They won’t be epic or inspire great masses of people, but that’s not why I write them.

I think five is good for now. Unless I can throw in “6.Lower my expectations.” Which would be why I am keeping it to five. I tend to take on more than is reasonable and I have a hard time delegating or letting go altogether. Let’s just make that a part of #1 and call it a day.

I hope you can say your year went well and I wish you the best of luck in the new one!