The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Graduation from higher education should come with a mandatory reentry program. After two years, I am finally staring down the last course of my Masters program. All my hard work is about to pay off, and I’m about to get my life back. I also have no idea what to do with myself.

I’ll no longer have a paper or team project to blame for my absence from family functions or Miss O’s playdates. I’ll have to relearn how to have conversations that don’t involve a class lecture or citing my sources APA style. I won’t be able to torture my colleagues with the phrase “we just talked about this in school.”

I will not be graded on my performance. Who knew how well I respond to weekly point allocations? I was an excellent student in elementary school, tanked in middle school, brought it together in high school and well, college is college.  I graduated and did so with a decent GPA by the blessings of the academic gods and the self-imposed hermitage I placed myself in senior year so I would actually graduate. When I promised my dad I would finish school, we never talked about my GPA, but I sure did lock in on a 4.0. Unfortunately, due to one A- it is mathematically impossible for me to reach a 4.0, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going down without a fight. My 3.9XX GPA will get as close as it possibly can. I’m still appalled that there’s no valedictorian for graduate school. Someone should really look into that.

Agrade

I see all this extra time I will suddenly have and I have no idea what to do with. Honestly, it’s hard enough when school is on break for a week and I suddenly have nights free again. I have caught myself standing in the middle of my living room wondering what I’m supposed to be doing or what assignment I may have missed, knowing full-well that in that moment, I belong to no one. Freedom can be absolutely paralyzing.

Alice

Of course, when I do get a reasonable chunk of time to myself, I’m more likely to put on some comfy pants, grab a bag of chips and tuck in to some trashy TV than I am to solve any of my #firstworldproblems. Because, really, don’t I deserve a break after working so hard? If I can’t get myself together mid-week, what is it going to be like after two weeks? Or a month?

Messy House

No, that’s not my house, but it could be…

I’m a project junkie and I’m about to come down off Grad school to nothing. I realized I have no real hobbies anymore, just stuff I might like to do. If I read a book, I might feel compelled to write a synopsis of how the characters could have communicated better in whatever crisis they had and do a complete crisis management plan by the end of the week. I honestly don’t think I know how to enjoy myself anymore. I certainly don’t know how to sit still, though that’s always been a struggle.

In August we’re taking a family trip to Disney World.

Magic Kingdom

Yes, we are insane, thank you for asking.

I realized I’ve been approaching planning for it with the same vigor as many of my course final projects. I know I’m getting an A for preparation and, so far, my timeline is on point. I sincerely hope by August I’ve managed to re-acclimate to spending time with my family and enjoying myself.

If not, I’ll have to go back to school again and I’m pretty sure that relapse may kill me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s