Mockery is one of my superpowers. I am also fluent in sarcasm and learned about zingers at the kitchen table with my family as soon as I could understand what words were. My targets are many and varied. It seams oddly fitting that I start the year targeting one of the most hallowed traditions of a new year itself: making resolutions designed to make you a better person or stop doing something negative, like, you know, mocking things.

As many of us discovered January 1^st, I couldn’t escape the influx of posts proclaiming #oneword2016. If you don’t know about this, thanks for hiding under the rock with me. I’ll catch you up. Make that long list you’re compiling of things you want to improve on or aspire to this year boil down to one word. That’s it. It’s groundbreaking, I know.

It’s also super easy to mock. I can think of so many words right now that I’d love to achieve in 2016.

Pants – As in ones that actually fit or fitting into the ones I have

Treats! – Probably not going to help with the pants thing, but I do love me some treats and I’m always on the lookout for good ones, especially now that I have to be gluten-free 

Millions – Who wouldn’t want to get millions of dollars? Or maybe that’s readers or fans, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Sleep – I have a pre-schooler trust me, anything close to quality sleep is an achievement and definitely something I hope to improve.

Peace – Just one moment would b enough most days, but I don’t just mean at home, let’s go big with this one, how about the kind pageant ladies are always talking about. We could all get behind that one, yes?

Well, that’s great and all, but folks tell me it’s supposed to be slightly deeper than that. This is some serious stuff.

Gotcha. Let’s try that again.

Fitness – That will definitely help with pants, but not the treats. That’s probably a good thing on both fronts.

Swearing – Doing less of it. I suppose that’s also a good thing, but it’s just so *#$%^&@ hard to do.

Sleep – Seriously, it’s something I need more of in my life.

Somehow this was not working for me.

I went back through Facebook and twitter and really started looking at all these words. There was definitely more mocking. It couldn’t be helped. But here’s the thing, the more I mocked, the more it made me think about what my word would be. It got intensely introspective way faster than expected. I ditched the attitude (you’re welcome, Mama), started looking at all these words that meant so much to people, and really thought of how they might apply to me.

The first word was “enough,” which is a great word with lots of applications. The intent there was that the proclaimer wants to be able to say, “enough is enough,” or “good enough.” Love it. I, of course, went for “enough of this $%@!.,” which also works really well for me. Unless I’m keeping that swearing one.

The next word was “simple.” I was already in full-on snark mode, so all I could think of was “what a horrible thing to want to be simple.” Complexity is what makes us interesting. I was sad for that person until someone else pointed out that it also means stupid or slow and then we were both horrified. This could not possibly be their true intent and this person most likely wants to clear the proverbial clutter from their lives. I could certainly use that as well and the start of the year is always a time of clutter purging in our home. I fully support this version.

The next word was “growth.” I have a lot of medical issues, so the first thing that came to mind was something growing on or in me that didn’t come with my original packaging and I couldn’t handle it as maturely as one my age should. After my giggle fit subsided and I managed to take a few deep breaths, I was able to see how this, too, is a good word. I believe we are constantly shaped by what we experience and hopefully those experiences are positive and move us toward whatever our goals are. Yes. This is an excellent word. Why would we want to be exactly the same person 365 days from now that we are today? I’m not sure I know of anyone who hasn’t had a single experience in one year’s time where they could say they neither learned something helpful nor came away with a positive outcome.

See how the introspection is creeping in there?

It’s been a few days now and I’ve been mulling over what my word would actually be. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I can think of lots of things I’d like to have, but it’s much harder to look at all of my shortcomings, (they are legion), and choose only one to receive my focus for an entire year.

The more words rattle around in my head, the more shortcomings I identify. I have also unwittingly unleashed a few issues I thought were carefully tucked away, buried in a safe, dark place, deep inside there, but I’ll save those for another time.

So what did I end up with? Bear with me a little longer, please.

I started out with “happiness,” because it’s a softball concept and doesn’t everyone want that? For the most part I am already happy, though some days I forget. I think that’s pretty common, so admittedly, it’s not a great choice, but it’s better than “pants.”

I thought about joining in on “enough.” It’s a pretty good word for me. I need to learn how to recognize what “enough” really is. Being happy with what you have is a hard thing anymore, especially when you were raised to never settle and always want more. It’s also important to learn what “enough” looks like so you don’t make yourself crazy doing more that is ultimately unnecessary. I am really bad at this one. I don’t know how to do anything on a middle level. I live at either not enough or more than I need. Ironically, this is still not “enough” of a word for me.

Whilst mulling, I’ve been listening to this song “Geronimo” by Sheppard a lot (great group – check them out), because it keeps popping up on Spotify. That song is wonderful all on it’s own, but then it’s also got three remixes that randomly pop up, too, so it’s like having a little musical voice in my head really trying to get my attention. I’m not into the remixes as much, though, so I can leave them right where they are. There’s a connection here, I promise.

Anyway, the lyrics paint a wonderful picture of a couple, each on one side of a waterfall, presumably a metaphor for a rough patch in their relationship, or perhaps their entire relationship, and this poor guy is basically begging his counterpart to leap across the gap and join him on his side. Seriously, he is singing about how he went too fast and leaped INTO the waterfall without his partner and would this person please make the leap to join him. That is pretty damn powerful when you picture it in your head all day. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a waterfall the same way, or my marriage.

No, my word is not “waterfall” and it’s not “Geronimo,” either, sassy pants.

Ready for it?

Grateful (adjective)

1. warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful:
2. expressing or actuated by gratitude:
3. pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing:

There it is. That’s my word. (I will take this moment to point out that I do not promise clarity of thought or thought process anywhere on this blog.)

You’re still waiting for that connection I promised, aren’t you?

Okay, here goes…

I’m pretty sure that song depicts my relationship with just about anyone, but no one gets the waterfall like Hubs and I do. He is the only man who’s braved everything I throw at him and he’s still at the base of the fall always waiting for me. In February we will have been together for 12 years. October is our 10^th wedding anniversary. No one has ever stuck with me that long for a consistent amount of time. No one has weathered what this man has weathered and yet, there he is. We have had so many waterfalls between us. Some he started, some I started, and many way out of our control. Beautiful and exhilarating, forceful and scary, waterfalls, like relationships, are all of these.

I am grateful he has been and still is here with me, no matter what side of the fall he’s on at the time. I do not appreciate him enough and I certainly do not express it enough. Hubs is amazing at showing me how much he cares for and appreciates me. He is the Master of Small Kindnesses. I can be better at reciprocating these moments and better at expressing my feelings to others, as well.

 

So here it is. In 2016, and beyond, I aspire to be grateful for what I have, who I am, and who is with me.

I know your time is precious and limited, so please allow me to start working towards my #oneword2016 and thank you for taking time out of your day to read this.

May you have success with whatever this new year holds for you and your one word.